Verdant
Sarah V.: Hey Pete, are you going to be staying around here for the holidays?
Pete: Uh, should be, yeah. Why?
Sarah V.: I’m flying back west to spend some time with my dad and meet up with some old friends from high school.
Pete: Oh, that’s cool.
Sarah V.: Yeah. Could you take care of my cat while I’m away?
Pete: Absolutely! I love cats.
Sarah V.: I know. Oh, and do you think you could bring in my mail and any packages that get delivered?
Pete: Sure, no problem.
Sarah V.: Oh, and could you give me a ride to the airport and pick me up when I get back?
Pete: Um, yeah. I guess I can make that work. Send me your itinerary.
Sarah V.: Oh, and can you water my house plants?
Pete: Yeeeeeeeeah, you don’t want me doing that.
Sarah V.: What? Why not?
Pete: I have the least green thumb in the world.
Sarah V.: Not to worry. I will lay out clear instructions about how much you need to water them and when, and what fertilizer to use on which plants and in what quantities.
Pete: Fertilizer? Isn’t that what they use on farms?
Sarah V.: Well, yeah. Because that’s where they grow plants.
Pete: Well, food. That’s where they grow food.
Sarah V.: Um, yeah. Okay. What do you think most food is, dude?
Pete: Um . . .
Sarah V.: Look, do you know what a Hoya is?
Pete: Um, is that a cocktail?
Sarah V.: No. It’s a plant. Do you know what a maidenhair fern is?
Pete: Something out of The Brothers Grimm?
Sarah V.: No. It’s another plant. Um, okay. A spider plant?
Pete: Something you don’t want in the house?
Sarah V.: Oy. Okay. A succulent?
Pete: Oh, yeah! A succubus is a demon in female form sent to sedu–
Sarah V.: A succulent! Succulent! Not a “succubus.” Succulent!
Pete: Is that, like—a baby succubus?
Sarah V.: Woooooow. Okay. What about a Christmas cactus?
Pete: Now you’re just screwing with me.
Sarah V.: Whatever. Just—I’ll leave you some pages of instructions.
Pete: Pages?
Sarah V.: Yeah.
Pete: “Pages” Plural?
Sarah V.: Yeah.
Pete: Just how many house plants do you have?
Sarah V.: Um, I don’t know. A hundred or so?
Pete: What?
Sarah V.: Look, my cat likes to feel like she’s a tiger in the jungle. And it’s nice having living things in the house. Maybe if you tried owning something other than board games—
Pete: Well, this is just Christmas cactus crazy talk. A hundred house plants! I don’t think I could even play a board game about that many house plants!!!
Sarah V.: Sure you can. Let’s unbox Verdant (2022) by Molly Johnson, Robert Melvin, Aaron Mesburne, Kevin Russ, & Shawn Stankewich and published by Flatout Games and AEG, where players will become houseplant enthusiasts trying to create the coziest interior space by collecting and arranging houseplants and other objects within their homes.
Pete: Ummmm . . . okay.
Sarah V.: Great! And then you can water my houseplants while I’m away. You’ll be absolutely fine. But I do need to train you. Unboxing and playing Verdant is the first step. Do you know what root rot is?
Pete: Dude, I could barely differentiate a root from a leaf.
Sarah V.: After the game, maybe a remedial course in sixth grade life science.