It’s a Wonderful Kingdom
Rick: Hey, Pete.
Pete: Hey, what?
Rick: Do you think we are headed for utopia or dystopia?
Pete: Dystopia.
Rick: That’s it? No parenthetical? No discussion?
Pete: Complete dystopia.
Rick: You’re not giving me very much, here.
Pete: Okay.
Rick: All right, then. I guess I’m doing this unboxing without you.
Pete: Hey, I thought you said you weren’t going to lead the lead-in anymore.
Rick: I did say that. But you’re just sitting down here, in a fort you’ve made out of board game boxes and CCG cards, chain smoking. Somebody has to take care of business. Besides, aren't you worried about smoke damage?
Pete: To my lungs?
Rick: To the games, dude, to the games.
Pete: I’m preparing for the end. We are heading for complete dystopia. We were headed for complete dystopia 500 years ago. We are still heading for complete dystopia. No signs of change.
Rick: This is really a message of doom and gloom. That’s not great for viewership. We’re supposed to be offering escapist narratives and glimpses into worlds of gaming adventure.
Pete: Okay.
Rick: But I’m glad you brought up 500 years of dystopia, because eight months ago we did a review of It’s a Wonderful World, a not-too-distant-future utopia/dystopia juxtaposition game, and now we are unboxing, It’s a Wonderful Kingdom, a goodly-way-into-the-past utopia/dystopia juxtaposition game. Both designed by Frédéric Guérard, and both published by La Boîte de Jeu.
Pete: See? I told you.
Rick: Well, what kind of social, political, and financial changes do you think we need to make in order to shift course?
Pete: It’s too late. We’re screwed.
Rick: Just because you feel that way doesn’t mean you’re right.
Pete: Keegan agrees with me.
Rick: Wow! Really? Okay, that’s outstanding, but that still doesn’t mean it’s right.
Pete: No, but it is something to write about to the dumpster fire of our former homes while we’re cowering in a bunker someplace.
Rick: How about this: A system of government where you and Keegan collaboratively make all the decisions, but on any given issue, you have exactly 20 seconds to agree with one another. If you can’t agree, someone nuts-crazy like Ye gets unilateral control over that decision.
Pete: Sounds like it’s high stress. Like it would lead to a lot of chain smoking of board game components.
Rick: Perhaps it would, but in the meantime, you should put out whatever it is that you have rolled up in that—hang on, are you using an Alpha Black Lotus as rolling paper? What is wrong with you? Get off your butt! You are coming with me to unbox It’s a Wonderful Kingdom.
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Disclaimer: We do understand that this world is difficult, and we do not judge, in any way, anyone who engages in substance intake to take the edge off of whatever they are dealing with. That being said, we here at Corax & Coffee do not now, nor have we ever condoned the use of an Alpha Black Lotus (or any of the Power Nine) as rolling paper for your provisions. That’s just bad form. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, take care of all animals, and happy gaming.
